Entitlement

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the sense of entitlement felt by most people (at least most Americans), including myself. I certainly didn't grow up with everything I wanted, but I definitely had everything I needed and even a majority of the things I wanted. But I still appreciated that my parents were the ones that paid for those things, my clothes, my summer camps, etc. and that they had worked hard to save the money to pay for them. I am also extremely fortunate that my undergrad education was paid for; however, I also selected a school I knew would be affordable for my family. I didn't even apply to any of the private schools or anywhere out of state because I knew what I wanted to study and I'm sure that NCSU prepared me as well as any other school, though admittedly in different ways. I knew my parents couldn't afford $40K/year tuition at a school like Duke (not including the housing costs), and that I have two younger siblings, so why would I pick a school that would drain them of their resources? I graduated with no student loans and nothing owed to my parents, which is amazing for me and has allowed me to start saving for other things, like the down payment for a house. But I know how rare it is for someone to not have loans to pay (even though I offered to pay them back) and I think that at least makes a little bit of a difference even if I am unbelievably spoiled in that sense.

Still, while I was at school I bought my own food, my own clothes, paid for my own textbooks, any outings I wanted to take, etc. Pretty much everything except my tuition and housing I bought for myself, and I'm so glad that's how it was, because now that I have my own reliable income, albeit small, I know how to save my money and how to limit myself to things I really need and to save for those things that I really want instead of just buying them whenever I feel like it. I'm happy and blessed that I've managed to save about 40% of each pay check so far (although a lot of that is going to the wedding, but that's sort of an unusual, once-in-a-lifetime thing) after I've paid my portion of the rent, utilities, and groceries. I've been fortunate there have been no major emergencies that required large financial sums, so hopefully in 5 years or so, Keegan and I will be able to buy that house and take our trip to Italy to celebrate my graduation. We've each already started setting aside part of each paycheck so we'll be able to slowly afford the trip, and I think that will be good for us; we'll have worked hard to pay for the trip (rather than taking money from our parents or something) and I think it will mean more to us. That's another thing lacking from people today- working hard allows you to appreciate what you have, but when you sit around on your ass and take my money to pay for your living expenses, you're not really going to learn anything and you're going to continue being useless. I have no sympathy for people who don't try to work for themselves to better their own lives and instead rely on everyone else to bail them out of their difficulties.

Now I see kids today who think they are supposed to have their own television and computer in their rooms (we had one tv and one computer and we learned to share) and that their parents are supposed to spend $1000 on them every Christmas to get them those 10 games they want for the Wii they got for their birthday. They are entitled to tacky Ugg shoes that cost $200 along with the new iPod they wanted because oh heaven help us, they can't have the last model of iPod, it must be the most current, the most advanced, even when the old one works fine. Coming from an uncoventional family, I always had 3 or 4 Christmases with all my various parts of the family, but at the house with my mom and stepdad, we each recieved about 4 presents, and we were happy to have them. For our birthdays we got $20, not some Wii or PlayStation thing, and we were thankful. I was thankful at least, I guess I can't speak for my siblings. We went to the beach once a year, for 4 nights, and we only did that for about 6 years, then we stopped going (although I'm not sure why...). Not month-long European excursions, which I would have loved to do but now appreciate were not the best choices for our family when you don't make too much money and don't want to blow $60K on a trip.

I'm not saying that taking nice trips and treating your kids is not a good thing to do; I hope that when Keegan and I have kids we are able to give them interesting trips where they are able to learn something new or see something they'd never see anywhere else. But I want them to appreciate those things, so I think that will be where the challenge lies.

Taking the trip to Ecuador last year was pretty much the best thing I've ever done for myself; I knew I would see people living in conditions that would have been unacceptable for me, and I wanted to knock myself down a few levels, I wanted to really appreciate that I had a heated and air conditioned place to live, that had doors and windows and a roof, electricity and food and reliable plumbing with clean water and sanitary food.

I'm not sure this post is really conveying what I want to convey, but basically I'm just tired of people who think they deserve everything and screw anyone who stands in their way, because it's only them that matters. Who cares if they drain all the money their family has saved to go to a college (that they only got into because their family could technically scrape by and pay for it) where they earn mediocre grades and don't actually accomplish anything, because at least they got what they wanted. Who cares if they pester mom to buy several pairs of $100 jeans because that's what the kids wear nowadays. Who cares if they're rude and ungrateful because that doens't hurt them, only the people sacrificing for them. That's what I see now, and it's depressing. That's like Al Gore's or John Edwards' feelings they they are entitled to have 40,000 square foot monstrosities that cost more than an entire county to provide energy for because they can afford to pay extra to use that power to pollute the environment they're so publicly blaming everyone else for damaging. But I digress.

I'm definitely not saying that all people are this way, it's just what I've been noticing lately. There are plenty of people who sacrifice what they have to help others and should be commended for it. I just hope those people are the ones who are able to make lasting impressions on the youth today. And even the adults today.